For thirty-three years, from the first time my heart beat, my parents stood next to me, guiding me and guarding me. For everything that happened to me, every cut and scrape, every test I aced and every one I failed (B-?), ever game winning free-throw I sank and ever team that cut me, every undergrad school that rejected me and every law school that took me, every girlfriend and every breakup, every video I made, every Christmas gift I opened, my parents were there for it. Brick by brick, my life built upon itself into a tall and sturdy tower. Through it all, my parents stood guard over that tower, helping to lay bricks and shore up weaknesses. As I grew, they stepped back and let me build on my own, but they stood ready to jump into action if help was needed.
But in an instant, the confidence I felt about life vanished and the sturdy tower began to wobble and shake.
On my recent trip to Dark Sky Park in The Headlands, I found myself absorbed in the moments I spent with my dad. Whether it was sitting and talking with him by the fire or just hearing him sleep in the bed next to me, I wanted to linger in the comfortable feeling of being with him. Mixed into the feeling of safety, however, was a deep twinge of vulnerability. I've seen too clearly how quickly life can change, and I felt certain that without Dad my tower would crash down, leaving nothing but rubble.
Standing in the face of that vision of destruction are Sanjeet and Nik, friends that are family to me in nearly every way that a person can be family. And there is my wife Annie; the two of us are actively pushing forward in our life together. Yet despite these other key figures, it did nothing to assuage my vision of a broken life looming in the future. An empty seat cannot be filled. Losing someone angrily shakes the foundation of our lives, raging in an attempt to rip everything down.
As we live, we keep building and striving while what we had built upon is breaking and crumbling. Our lives today will be gone tomorrow. The best we can do is appreciate what we have while we have it.
And so I must now stand guard for my family. My tower cannot stand alone, but together we will protect each other through whatever the future may hold.